Skip to main content

5 Nov

This morning I dreamed
I was in some hospital/school complex
I just received a rather bad news
Something is not well with me
The test gave bad results on my right breast

As I wait for the doctor's appointment
I confusedly didn't return the test clothing or something
So I had to run to the other side of the complex
 
As I walked with my head full of questions
From afar I saw you on the stairs
It looked like the field stairs of my junior high
You were there with a friend
I tried to pretend I didn't see you
But as we locked eyes, you greet me first
You and your beautiful hair
No glasses, did I remember that right?

You asked where I was going
And I said I'm getting an operation
You were shocked and confused too
You then try to walk beside me

I can't remember if we talked along the way
I know I'm just so confused and yet so focused
On returning that test outfit and whatsoever administrative work I have to finish
Maybe you understand that already
So you stayed, you stand next to me amidst it all

Then I woke up. I felt sad yet grateful you're there

In real life, this morning
You posted a picture you took last week with a caption
"Help me to remember how to breathe and believe again"

Wait
Wasn't it supposed to me my line?
I'm supposed to be one who ask that in my dream
Why are we such a wound mate?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

this kid

For her upcoming 8th birthday, she have everything plan out. (Most probably an Intuitive, yup, since her birthday won't be here until another two months). She already plan how it will be celebrated. Her father and I never celebrate our birthdays so her images of birthdays are definitely not from us. She plans what she wants to eat. Quite anti mainstream because she requested "nasi and kremesan". She plans when it will be held (not on her actual birth day because she wants to celebrate it with her cousin and relatives in her father's hometown). She also plans who she is going to invite. What amaze me the most is she has this idea that her cousins will give her presents which she already has prepared earlier herself. So today I drove her to this stationery store, not a fancy one, just one near her school. She then bought pretty much everything she needs and wants for her birthday. She choose the cute stuffs she wants as her present, pick the pretty boxes and bags to put...
1 comment
Read more

Understanding and Curing Limerence

(Excerpt from limerence .net , nothing was written by me) The phases of limerence Like other addictions, we see limerence originating from early life psychological wounding. We use it to fill a hole in our soul.  We  describe  limerence as the mother of all distractions and when working with clients in limerence we are  curious to uncover what is it the person avoiding dealing with?  So often there is deep unresolved emotional pain. The client has protected themselves by covering their hearts over the years and decades with layers and layers of reinforced concrete.  This was a survival mechanism necessary from growing up in a dysfunctional and often narcissistic family system. The reality is limerence never lasts – typically it spans from 6-36 months. Just long enough for us to pair-bond and continue the survival of the species. Recent advances in neuroimaging and neurochemistry are now mapping out these pathways for romantic love. We als...
Post a Comment
Read more

Third Session

The third session of my therapy was unplanned, as usual. I never set up an appointment, just using canceled sessions of students. At first, I told the psychologist that I haven't sleep well these pas few days. It's hard for me to fall asleep. Or,  I finally slept then got awake in the middle of the night, then kept awake for no real reason. I told her that when I couldn't sleep or wide awake, I'd be thinking about him, A. I'd be delusional, playing up ideas of scenes with him, or plain reeling images of A right inside my head. Then I'd be so tired I will actually fall asleep. I told her that Friday I caught a glimpse of A strolling about. I felt okay that time, just happy to see he's okay and all. But then Friday night I started to feel anxious, like sorrow inside me grew heavily. I got insomnia until morning. I told her that my heart is filled with deep longing of him. I miss him so much for no apparent reason. Who the hell is he, how can this be, and why...
Post a Comment
Read more