Skip to main content

pain from my dear fingers

16 Sept, 5 hari sebelum berumur 37
Ujung2 jariku terasa sakit
Bengkak, merah, berdenyut
Sakit sekali kayak kesetrum tiap dipakai
Practically paralysed

Pegang buku, buka kancing, ngambil piring, every little thing feels painful

I should be grateful
My body is giving me early warnings
Dan ga membiarkanku lumpuh dlm kondisi lebih parah di umur lebih lanjut

I knew I wasn't living as healthy as I should be
But I never thought the consequences will come in this time and with this shape
I always imagine I'd die of stroke, severe yet fast
But not this
The agony of pain from such simple parts of my body
My body overall alhamdulillah is functioning well
But what does that mean if you have constant distracting pain from just doing mundane stuffs

Astaghfirullah...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

this kid

For her upcoming 8th birthday, she have everything plan out. (Most probably an Intuitive, yup, since her birthday won't be here until another two months). She already plan how it will be celebrated. Her father and I never celebrate our birthdays so her images of birthdays are definitely not from us. She plans what she wants to eat. Quite anti mainstream because she requested "nasi and kremesan". She plans when it will be held (not on her actual birth day because she wants to celebrate it with her cousin and relatives in her father's hometown). She also plans who she is going to invite. What amaze me the most is she has this idea that her cousins will give her presents which she already has prepared earlier herself. So today I drove her to this stationery store, not a fancy one, just one near her school. She then bought pretty much everything she needs and wants for her birthday. She choose the cute stuffs she wants as her present, pick the pretty boxes and bags to put
1 comment
Read more

Understanding and Curing Limerence

(Excerpt from limerence .net , nothing was written by me) The phases of limerence Like other addictions, we see limerence originating from early life psychological wounding. We use it to fill a hole in our soul.  We  describe  limerence as the mother of all distractions and when working with clients in limerence we are  curious to uncover what is it the person avoiding dealing with?  So often there is deep unresolved emotional pain. The client has protected themselves by covering their hearts over the years and decades with layers and layers of reinforced concrete.  This was a survival mechanism necessary from growing up in a dysfunctional and often narcissistic family system. The reality is limerence never lasts – typically it spans from 6-36 months. Just long enough for us to pair-bond and continue the survival of the species. Recent advances in neuroimaging and neurochemistry are now mapping out these pathways for romantic love. We also feel limerence is a gateway to grief. It ma
Post a Comment
Read more