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19 Juli

Saya lupa tepatnya kapan, mungkin akhir 2008. Tapi saya masih cukup ingat percakapan kami saat itu. Kami baru saja beli cemilan di mbok jajan yg mangkal antara GKU dan FH, sekadar keluar sejenak dari ruang kantor jurusan. Lalu memutuskan duduk di tepian gedung sambil mulai makan. Satu pembicaraan menuju pembicaraan lain, dalam konteks kami berdua sama-sama sedang dalam hubungan menuju pernikahan, tiba-tiba dia bertanya, "Apa yang membuat Mbak yakin kalo dialah orangnya?". Sejenak kuberpikir lalu menjawab, "Pada satu titik, keyakinan itu datang begitu saja. Karena aku yakin di penghujung hari nanti dia tetap akan di sana."

Entah dari mana jawaban itu keluar saat itu. Mungkin dari caranya mencintaiku. Mungkin karena dia pernah berkata bahwa apapun yang terjadi, dia tidak akan menyerah dan pergi dariku (lebih dulu). Mungkin karena setelah hampir empat tahun, saat itupun saja aku masih saja mabuk dopamine. Mungkin.

Satu yang jelas, Allah mengirimnya untuk menolongku mencintai diriku.

Thank you for staying by my side. Through my most unbearable days, unforgivable moments, unloveable sides. I love you till the end of time. May Allah shines us with grace and blessings in days ahead, and gives us a bright blue sky days amidst the rains and the storms.

N.B. ingatkah kamu pada percakapan paragraf satu, Hayu? Aku menulisnya dengan gaya hopelessly romantic-mu, boleh lah ya?

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