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Sebelum Aku Pergi

Sebelum aku pergi
Akan kuhirup dalam-dalam aroma senja di tepi Sansiro
Kupandang lekat setiap pucuk daun dan kuntum bunga
Kupejamkan mata sambil perlahan mengenang
Setiap masa yang telah terlewati di atas tanah sunyi ini

Sebelum aku pergi
Akan kurekam dalam-dalam pemandangan dari kaca jendelaku
Setiap emosi, tawa canda ceria kalian
Gundah gulana gelisah kalian
Yang datang dan pergi secepat wajah baru
Yang hadir setiap awal tahun ajaran

Sebelum aku pergi
Akan kekemasi setiap lembar tak beraturan
Kurapikan buku bacaan yang tak sempat kutamatkan
Kutata ulang berkas dan laporan saksi mata bisu
Kucermati setiap goresan yang tersisa
Adakah kiranya yang berhak kubawa

Sebelum aku pergi
Akan kuucap lirih rasa sesal dan syukur
Atas semua yang kualami dan kuhikmahi
Kudekap erat setiap ide, nilai, rasa dan cinta
Lalu kusimpan dalam lubuk hati terdalam



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Understanding and Curing Limerence

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Like other addictions, we see limerence originating from early life psychological wounding. We use it to fill a hole in our soul.  We  describe  limerence as the mother of all distractions and when working with clients in limerence we are  curious to uncover what is it the person avoiding dealing with?  So often there is deep unresolved emotional pain. The client has protected themselves by covering their hearts over the years and decades with layers and layers of reinforced concrete.  This was a survival mechanism necessary from growing up in a dysfunctional and often narcissistic family system. The reality is limerence never lasts – typically it spans from 6-36 months. Just long enough for us to pair-bond and continue the survival of the species. Recent advances in neuroimaging and neurochemistry are now mapping out these pathways for romantic love. We also feel limerence is a gateway to grief. It marks …

Sort of Mid Life Crisis

Let's call it a premature mid life crisis
A time in my thirties
When everything goes everywhere
Or in another term
Goes nowhereA time when things are pretty much "it"
All the excitement has wore down
Nothing big to anticipateMaybe it's too much to say
Everything's downhill from here
But it's probably trueNot that I'm not grateful
I'm just being realistic
Maybe I had too many adrenaline in the past
So life's now seems so dullHappiness and fun comes in very different sizes, boxes and colors
Maybe I'm just not ready yet
To get tiny pale yellow boxes every other day
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