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Goodbyes

I guess I'm not good with goodbye(s)
In fact, I rarely said goodbye
To people, to the cities I lived before
To memories

Maybe because I don't want to say goodbye
Maybe because there's no such thing as goodbye
Maybe because I, secretly or not, don't want to say it
Maybe because I cannot

I don't think I have negative experience with goodbye
My grandparents died when I was in elementary
But I wasn't that close to them
I never lose anything or anyone in a traumatic sense

So why is it so hard to let go of someone?
Someone who is actually nobody in my life
Why is it difficult to imagine the pictures fading away?
That the memories will someday vanish

What is it that I'm holding on?
Is it the memories
The images
Or the emotions that comes along?

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