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Whatever's Block

You're probably familiar with the term "writer's block". I wonder if there's a painter's block, singer's block, or chef's block. What actually happened during the block anyway? A sudden mood change? Running out of idea? Simply bored and tired of the routine?

Like what I'm facing tonight. I already had a theme/topic that I'm suppose to be writing for this night. But I don't know why I just don't get the first words, and I don't know how to start and end that piece. That's why tonight I will (again) be rambling pointlessly.

So, in my case tonight, it's not because I don't have any idea. It's more like I can't develop the idea. Or because my topic was my own experience, so that becomes a separate kind of obstacle, one which put me in battle with my own thoughts and decisions. Or maybe simply because I don't know how to put them into words.

Is it my mood? Not really, I'm not in a negative mood right now. Have I become bored and tired by the routine? Well, born as an ENTP, it is  very understandable that I'm infected by the 'great starter, never a finisher' syndrome. But, nah, this piece is the 4th piece yet. Even I don't get bored that easily. And even if I am bored already that's the whole point of joining 31harimenulis anyway. To give me some kind of disincentive when not doing something I'm suppose/should be doing.

Hm, writing this rambling actually give me the chance to be more mindful, to listen more to myself. And the hard truth is, I'm experiencing this 'block' is because I can't focus. I am having so many things going on in my head, in my life, which I need to settle one by one. Deadlines, thoughts, ideas, wishes, dreams. I have to start straighten'up myself, get to finish stuffs one thing at a time. And not just running away from it by looking for distractions. Even if it's so much more fun. Haha.

So what do I do when facing a whatever's block? For writing, my long time professor told me to just "Tulis Saja, Kapan Lagi". And for other things in life? A really dear adorably kind someone of mine told me to "keep going". And that's what I'm doing right now, whatever it takes. If I'm blocked to write about a topic, then I'll just write about something else. If I can't find a word to start in Bahasa, then I'll just follow my feelings and write in English.

If life gives you lemon, then let's make a damn hell of a lemonade out of it!

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