Skip to main content

Whatever's Block

You're probably familiar with the term "writer's block". I wonder if there's a painter's block, singer's block, or chef's block. What actually happened during the block anyway? A sudden mood change? Running out of idea? Simply bored and tired of the routine?

Like what I'm facing tonight. I already had a theme/topic that I'm suppose to be writing for this night. But I don't know why I just don't get the first words, and I don't know how to start and end that piece. That's why tonight I will (again) be rambling pointlessly.

So, in my case tonight, it's not because I don't have any idea. It's more like I can't develop the idea. Or because my topic was my own experience, so that becomes a separate kind of obstacle, one which put me in battle with my own thoughts and decisions. Or maybe simply because I don't know how to put them into words.

Is it my mood? Not really, I'm not in a negative mood right now. Have I become bored and tired by the routine? Well, born as an ENTP, it is  very understandable that I'm infected by the 'great starter, never a finisher' syndrome. But, nah, this piece is the 4th piece yet. Even I don't get bored that easily. And even if I am bored already that's the whole point of joining 31harimenulis anyway. To give me some kind of disincentive when not doing something I'm suppose/should be doing.

Hm, writing this rambling actually give me the chance to be more mindful, to listen more to myself. And the hard truth is, I'm experiencing this 'block' is because I can't focus. I am having so many things going on in my head, in my life, which I need to settle one by one. Deadlines, thoughts, ideas, wishes, dreams. I have to start straighten'up myself, get to finish stuffs one thing at a time. And not just running away from it by looking for distractions. Even if it's so much more fun. Haha.

So what do I do when facing a whatever's block? For writing, my long time professor told me to just "Tulis Saja, Kapan Lagi". And for other things in life? A really dear adorably kind someone of mine told me to "keep going". And that's what I'm doing right now, whatever it takes. If I'm blocked to write about a topic, then I'll just write about something else. If I can't find a word to start in Bahasa, then I'll just follow my feelings and write in English.

If life gives you lemon, then let's make a damn hell of a lemonade out of it!


Popular posts from this blog

Understanding and Curing Limerence

(Excerpt from, nothing was written by me)The phases of limerence
Like other addictions, we see limerence originating from early life psychological wounding. We use it to fill a hole in our soul.  We  describe  limerence as the mother of all distractions and when working with clients in limerence we are  curious to uncover what is it the person avoiding dealing with?  So often there is deep unresolved emotional pain. The client has protected themselves by covering their hearts over the years and decades with layers and layers of reinforced concrete.  This was a survival mechanism necessary from growing up in a dysfunctional and often narcissistic family system. The reality is limerence never lasts – typically it spans from 6-36 months. Just long enough for us to pair-bond and continue the survival of the species. Recent advances in neuroimaging and neurochemistry are now mapping out these pathways for romantic love. We also feel limerence is a gateway to grief. It marks …

Sort of Mid Life Crisis

Let's call it a premature mid life crisis
A time in my thirties
When everything goes everywhere
Or in another term
Goes nowhereA time when things are pretty much "it"
All the excitement has wore down
Nothing big to anticipateMaybe it's too much to say
Everything's downhill from here
But it's probably trueNot that I'm not grateful
I'm just being realistic
Maybe I had too many adrenaline in the past
So life's now seems so dullHappiness and fun comes in very different sizes, boxes and colors
Maybe I'm just not ready yet
To get tiny pale yellow boxes every other day
When deep inside I'm still waiting for that big shiny rainbow boxLife can never be as fun and thrilling as it was beforeOr can it?