Once upon time, (I cant pinpoint the exact month, but ultimately in 2015) I was severely numb.
I felt stuck, have nowhere to go
No longer can feel my own passion and purpose
It's all meaningless
Everything felt like a giant routine blob
Floating away aimlessly
It was somewhere in my depression episode.
I felt nothing. I want nothing.
I couldn't be happy. I couldn't be sad either.
I'm definitely bored
My mind wanders a lot
Nothing excites me anymore
Things I used to enjoy felt like a big MEH
My life was a BIG meh
I fear nothing, got nothing to lose
Go ahead, take everything that was left of me
I wasn't angry
I couldn't be angry
I KNOW I was disappointed, but can't feel it anymore
I was in zero point
No negativity, but no positivity too
My shrink disagreed with this concept
She said that if we're not happy then it means we're sad
There was nothing such as zero/neutral area
So I said, I'm not happy but I'm also not sad
What do I have to feel sad for, I ask
I'm definitely not sad
I'm just depressed
Didn't know that acknowledging that I was depressed
Will be that hard
Admitting that I can't help myself getting out of it