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My Limerence

I need a dedicated post to explain and show what limerence is. At least what it means to me, and how limerence affected me.

For me, it was first and foremost: infatuation.
It was definitely infatuation. The craziness, the irrational thoughts, the "this doesn't make any sense"-ness. The sensation my body experienced. The physical sorrow of parting. The unexplainable surreal atmosphere. As if I was living in another dimension every time a slight view or thought about you crossed my head. Limerence was simply crazy.

Limerence is also about adoration. Where you are the most perfect being in the world. And every each of your weaknesses will only motivate me to find other side of it. People say you're childish, but I see that as pure youth spirit, to be carefree and fearless. Some of your acts can be seen stupid, silly and plain mindless. But to my eyes, you're just being yourself. Witty, damn smart, and plain honest.

To adore you was my grand illusion. And that I will do anything to cherish you, take care of you, shower you with gifts and presents, anything to put a smile on your face. Limerence fill my heart with warm juicy liquid.

But limerence is also something way beyond infatuation or adoration.

Last but not least, limerence is about being addicted to something untouchable and unreachable. It's not like being addicted to drugs, or even coffee or chocolate. It's not running in my blood yet fully fill my head. I'm not getting any substance in my body, but I'm addicted like hell. You can prison me til starving but it will still be inside of me. It's very dangerous because nobody can take it away from me.

------

I found a song, especially with Leroy's cover, that explains limerence the best. All the emotions, confusions, addictions.

All The Feeling

Am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?
Trying to find the truth,
Sometimes the heart is deceiving

Can't get out of my head, and I need you to save me
If I am delusional then maybe I'm crazy
In love with you. Am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?

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