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First Step

what I felt for you was love-like,
but what was it, really?
I kept questioning my self
"Am I in love with you? Or am I in love with the feeling"

The Feeling

 (go ahead play the video.. i like this cover better then the one by bieber)

I always knew what my feeling was
that you saved me from near-death thoughts  
that you're my sunshine after the rain  
that you bring back color to my gloomy days  
I was grateful and indebted

but I also feel a sensation to admire you to adore you
as if you're an idol
that I'm your number one fans

 when one and a half year passed by  
and I still can't get you out of my head
i realized something is not right so i keep trying to find out
then just last Sunday I found out what I was diagnosed with

limerence
it's a psychological term and it's real

"the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship."

damn
I'm so fucked up
first depression, now this
an article says its rooted deep into the psychological realm
an unmet emotional needs, mostly during childhood
i always felt as if there's a hole in my heart
which i couldn't tell what to fill with

so i set a therapy session with the psychologist
it was hard
and gruesome
to face my past..far far behind
and that you weren't my first limerent object
and if I'm not cured  most certainly won't be the last one

after the session I realized a lot of things
I also know I have a lot to do
I have to reveal my situation to my significant other
I have to break up my emotional bonds with you

this is my first step

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