Skip to main content

Dear Araysa

Five years have passed since I first hold you in my arms
I, who never thought I'd ever deserved the title
Was to face the blessings and responsibilities
As your mother

Our first months was tiring for me
Baby blues struck me
Though thank God quite lightly
You looked funny and strange that time
You grew healthy and strong

The first year was awesome
You were cute and pretty and active
Going back from work was exhausting
But I wouldn't choose anything else
Having you in my arms warms my heart

The bigger you are the more you grew as a person
We talked more, you tell more stories
It's amazing how a young human can use so many words
Talk so much with plenty of plots, curiosity and imagination

This previous year was challenging
The bigger you are, the more you grew, the more we fight
And the more we fight, the more I realized
We're so much alike

Raising you will be like raising myself
Yeah! Good luck with that!

So many years to come
So much things to do together

My biggest wish?
So that I can love you as you are
And you can love as I am
As a human, a person, a soul
And not only because we were destined to be
A mother and her daughter

With mindful love,



Popular posts from this blog

Understanding and Curing Limerence

(Excerpt from, nothing was written by me)The phases of limerence
Like other addictions, we see limerence originating from early life psychological wounding. We use it to fill a hole in our soul.  We  describe  limerence as the mother of all distractions and when working with clients in limerence we are  curious to uncover what is it the person avoiding dealing with?  So often there is deep unresolved emotional pain. The client has protected themselves by covering their hearts over the years and decades with layers and layers of reinforced concrete.  This was a survival mechanism necessary from growing up in a dysfunctional and often narcissistic family system. The reality is limerence never lasts – typically it spans from 6-36 months. Just long enough for us to pair-bond and continue the survival of the species. Recent advances in neuroimaging and neurochemistry are now mapping out these pathways for romantic love. We also feel limerence is a gateway to grief. It marks …

Sort of Mid Life Crisis

Let's call it a premature mid life crisis
A time in my thirties
When everything goes everywhere
Or in another term
Goes nowhereA time when things are pretty much "it"
All the excitement has wore down
Nothing big to anticipateMaybe it's too much to say
Everything's downhill from here
But it's probably trueNot that I'm not grateful
I'm just being realistic
Maybe I had too many adrenaline in the past
So life's now seems so dullHappiness and fun comes in very different sizes, boxes and colors
Maybe I'm just not ready yet
To get tiny pale yellow boxes every other day
When deep inside I'm still waiting for that big shiny rainbow boxLife can never be as fun and thrilling as it was beforeOr can it?

Anti Proliferasi Reuni

Sebenarnya apa yang mendorong orang -dan maksudku BANYAK sekali orang- mengadakan reuni beberapa tahun terakhir?Satu hal yang jelas, sejak meluasnya penggunaan media sosial, orang "berumur" (sudah punya cukup umur dan alasan) semakin mudah terhubung dengan kawan lamanya, dari berbagai tingkatan sekolah dan jenjang studi. Ini memudahkan mereka mengetahui kabar dan lokasi masing-masing, juga untuk mengkoordinasi acara reuni itu sendiri.Sejujurnya aku jengah dengan fenomena reuni ini. Kalau dulu, reuni itu dianggap layak disebut reuni karena dilakukan setelah sepuluh, dua puluh bahkan tiga puluh tahun sejak lulus. Sekarang, sepertinya setiap tahun ada saja acara temu alumni atau reuni. Malah jadi tidak istimewa menurutku.Secara pribadi, aku bukan peminat reuni. Kalau memang ingin kumpul dengan teman lama (yang tentu saja teman paling dekat tidak akan lebih dari sepuluh orang per tingkat sekolah), aku akan datangi mereka di rumah, mengundang ke rumahku, atau janjian bertemu di r…