Cut Through The Heart

09.55
Been watching you for a while
Your cheerfulness warms my heart

Then I walk in front of you and your friends
Nobody's ready to be greeted so I just walk

I try to walk as fast as I can
But then our eyes met in a sec
One second that feels like forever

Then I looked away
Simply like that

But then as I thought it would be

Pain

Cuts through my heart

Comments

19

Sejak kapan saya suka angka 19? Mungkin sejak SD, sejak kenal bilangan prima. Ya, 19 adalah bilangan prima, yang istimewa, berdiri sendiri, tidak memiliki bilangan faktor, tidak bisa dibagi bilangan lain selain satu dan dirinya sendiri. Sejak itu, sepertinya angka 19 selalu punya makna tersendiri untukku. Salah satu kecenganku waktu SMP ultahnya jatuh di tanggal 19, walau sekarang aku sudah tak yakin, bulan Januari atau Februari ya hahaha. Kalau dipikir, umur 19 juga istimewa karena mulai kenal @hysa. Apalagi setelah sadar kalau dies natalis fakultas kami selalu jatuh di tanggal 19 juga, tepatnya 19 September dan untuk di universitas 19 Desember. Begitu juga dengan beberapa tanggal wisuda kampus, selalu dijadwalkan di tanggal atau sekitar tanggal 19, empat kali dalam setahun. Tak heran juga akhirnya ketika mencari satu tanggal istimewa pengikat janji di musim kemarau, kami jatuhkan di 19 Juli. 190709 Bukan, ini bukan tulisan tema anniversary. Sekadar lintasan ide mengisi wak...

this kid

For her upcoming 8th birthday, she have everything plan out. (Most probably an Intuitive, yup, since her birthday won't be here until another two months). She already plan how it will be celebrated. Her father and I never celebrate our birthdays so her images of birthdays are definitely not from us. She plans what she wants to eat. Quite anti mainstream because she requested "nasi and kremesan". She plans when it will be held (not on her actual birth day because she wants to celebrate it with her cousin and relatives in her father's hometown). She also plans who she is going to invite. What amaze me the most is she has this idea that her cousins will give her presents which she already has prepared earlier herself. So today I drove her to this stationery store, not a fancy one, just one near her school. She then bought pretty much everything she needs and wants for her birthday. She choose the cute stuffs she wants as her present, pick the pretty boxes and bags to put...

On Okay

Growing up with someone with low-key worries (if not anxiety) is unhealthy on many levels. Always being asked if everything is okay, days filled with questions and needs of reassurances. At one point it mold us too, into one which questions. Is everything okay? Are you/we/they okay? Is he/she okay? Am I okay? Up to: what is okay, anyway? No wonder then, that doubts become life companion. Everything seems normal until one point you realized your doubts bring you nowhere. You're stuck. Yet you're not ready and sure enough to move forward. So here I am, starting on square one. Acknowledging my self, my doubts, my okayness. It's not easy when I'm stuck in my own little head. So I look around and see. The day has rise, the birds are chirping, my cats are playing around early in the morning. My loved ones are okay, breathing, healthy, at ease. Everything is okay. I'm okay. Alhamdulillah. Let's move on.

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